Thursday, January 24, 2013

KGB Top 5: Licensed Games We Want To See NOW

It's time for another KGB Top 5! We like lists, you like lists, so let's do this! Today we're taking a look at some games we'd like to see based off of our favorite franchises. There's money here on the table, people!

5. Garbage Pail Kids   by Chris

Let me make this clear right off the bat: I have no idea how this would work. But that's why I'm a shitty writer and not a game designer. All I know is that the Garbage Pail Kids are a goldmine of awesome, and I can't believe no one's slapped them into a game yet. For those who might not remember, or were too young: First of all, I hate you. Get off my lawn. Besides that, Garbage Pail Kids, or GPK, were trading cards featuring grotesque corruptions of the popular Cabbage Patch Kids.

The artwork on the cards were always awesome, and usually stomach-turningly gross. Interestingly enough, the GPK were created by Art Spieglmen, the author of Maus. The illustrations featured such memorable characters as Adam Bomb, Peeled Paul, and Oozy Suzy. They were frequently banned from schools, and most parents were apprehensive, at best, when it came to the series.

Imagine a game in which you collected the cards from mini-games, traded them with others online, then battled your characters against one another. Or perhaps a Skylanders-like game in which RFID-enabled statues or cards could be leveled up, scanned, and taken online into a GTA-like open world. This is gold here, people, GOLD!

4. Indiana Jones   by DBethel

With the prevalence of good action-adventure platformers (such as God of War, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, hell, even X-Men Origins: Wolverine), most of which are steeped in mythology or religion full of magical MacGuffins, it only makes sense for a modern Indiana Jones game to come to the fore.  Especially since, it seems, action games have figured out how to smoothly integrate creative combat using multiple weapons (just see the newest DmC: Devil May Cry for evidence of that––if you’re not busy having a seizure while playing it), it would be amazing to unleash a stylish combo using Dr. Jones’ trademark revolver and bullwhip.  Sure, Lucasarts did a great classic adventure game or two with the property back in the day––and their legacy wouldn’t be tarnished––but it’d be great to see Uncharted-style adventure, writing, and set pieces mixed up with modern action gameplay.

3. Drizzt   by Rock

I have been a huge fan of the Forgotten Realms setting since i was a teenager. In that time, I have yet to see a game that stars the setting's most famous character, Drizzt.  This strikes me as especially strange, since the novels have some incredible action.  Furthermore, the novels would lend themselves so easily to co-op: since Drizzt's companions are very diverse in their fighting styles, everybody should find someone they'd like to play as. Sure the stories are a bit...immature now, but I'd still love to play a game based on them.

My dream came a little closer to coming true in 2004 when a game called Forgotten Realms: Demon Stone was released.  An original story by Drizzt's creator, R.A. Salvatore, the game follows a party of three adventurers through some well known Forgotten Realms locales.  One of these is Mithril Hall, where the player can, for a short time, control Drizzt. And it's amazing.  Take this portion, make a whole game out of it that follows the plot of the novels, add in some co-op. Give it to me now!

                                                         Skip to 3:50 for Drizzt
                                If they could mix up the combat a bit more, I'd be sold.

2. Blade Runner     by Chris

There's actually already been a pretty good Blade Runner game, to be honest. Released in 1997, it was a point-and-click adventure done by Westwood Studios. It featured fairly advanced graphics for its time, and was well-received upon release. But now's the time for another go at this rich sci-fi universe. Imagine an open world game set it the neon-lit future, using the best gameplay mechanics of Arkham Asylum, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, and Dishonored.

A team like BioWare already has a lot of experience with sci-fi action-RPGs, and would almost certainly knock a Blade Runner game out of the park. A setting like this would allow for a great showcase for next-gen systems, with advanced lighting and crowd technology. I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

1. The Muppets   by Chris

It's a travesty that there's never been anything approaching a good Muppets game. The closest we've ever gotten has only been recently, with friends-of-the-site Double Fine Studios pumping out some quality Kinect Sesame Street content. But as far as the classic crew of Kermit, Fozzie, Animal, Leonardo, and Miss Piggy are concerned, Muppet videogames have been a wasteland of shovelware.

The PlayStation was home to two Muppets games, both released in 2000. Muppets RaceMania was a run-of-the-mill kart racer, although to its credit, the Muppet performers actually voiced their own characters. Each Muppet movie had several corresponding courses, although graphics were frequently unintelligible blurs of low-res textures. The other gem released that year was Muppet Monster Adventure, which was a platformer that shamelessly ripped off the Spyros and Crash Bandicoots of the world. At the time, it was actually a fairly competent game. But there was one major problem: You played as Kermit's nephew Robin. The rest of the Muppet cast is relegated to cameo appearances. Whhhhhhyyyyyy?

Playstation 2 saw the real heavy hitter of Muppet videogame canon; Muppets Party Cruise. As you might be aware, in this game, one door's red and the other one's blue. The highlight of the game is no doubt this Kermit hip-hop banger:

If, by some grace of God, a real, honest-to-goodness quality Muppets game was released, I could forgive all the junk that's come out before. I mean, it took the Simpsons 20 years of mediocre games before Hit & Run came out. With Disney's increased attention to quality, as well as the successful relaunch of the franchise in 2011, the time is right for a great Muppet game. Perhaps the recently unveiled Disney Infinity will contain some Muppets action, that would be a great first step in the right direction.

This was a KGB group effort. Well, except for Pat. He couldn't be bothered.

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